I recently came across a website. It is now in my "Places of Hate" links to the right. Hardcore Christian Gamers Association is a place run by one Drew Koehler, and the fact that he has developed a rag tag gang of ardent followers makes me fear for the intelligence of western civilization, and possibly the entire free-thinking world. Where do I begin? I guess the name is a good start.
Hardcore
This refers to term "hardcore gamer." I'm going by the modern (wrong) connotation. Not a pretty sight.
Christian
People who feel the need to "genre-ify" their faith are stupid and probably not very faithful at all. Their products suck, anyway. See: Christian Rock.
Gamers
Shouldn't that be possessive... Gamers'? Ahh, never mind.
Association
I shudder to think there's actual organization and structure behind this. On one hand it's impressive, given the minds in question, but on the other... I'll just point out that on the tabs in my browser, it reads "Hardcore Christian Gamers Ass..."
Now we'll move on to the big stuff. I read three articles, all written by Drew Koehler, all shitty. The first was a review of the movie Legion. On top of being a bad review in general (synopsis is not analysis!), the fact that it is a Christian review kills any objective judgment that may have been. Let me clarify. Christian review and review by a Christian are impossibly different, incompatible, and non-interchangable. The former is an advertisement or brand name, the latter a triviality. I personally don't think the movie looks very good, but his opinion of it is so inappropriately defined and clouded by his faith, that I can't help but jump to the movie's defense. He doesn't seem to understand that this is a fantasy. The filmmakers obviously didn't care about properly representing any aspects of the Bible or Christianity at all, so why should you care? Quit bitching, take your Prozac, and get back in the tollbooth. The funny part is that he complains about some baby in the movie being portrain as a savior, and that the baby is not Jesus. Really? You'd think he'd have a problem with the whole "angels exterminating the human race" plot of the movie, but whatever. Not to mention his attempt to convert readers in the final paragraph. If I wanted a message, I'd check my answering machine.
The second article I read was a review of the video game Dante's Inferno. Not much worth mentioning here, it's still objectively unobjective criticism thanks to the religious slant, but Koehler never once mentions the source material, Dante's Divine Comedy. He's probably never even heard of it, which is almost hypocritical of him, but the real high point of the review is his obsessive dismissal of nudity. He claims to have played through The Godfather II video game to its entirety, and reasons he shouldn't have since the game was full of nudity, and that doesn't sit well with his perception of women... or something. Then towards the end of his Dante's Inferno review (after listing some examples of nudity in that particular game) he exclaims:
"I don’t want to see the devil’s package (yes at the end he’s naked)."
At the end. He played through the whole damn game, even after his Godfather II episode. What a tool! Do you think the game companies care whether or not you're a Christian, or are offended by nudity when you've already spent money on their product? Yeah, probably not.
The third article is below any form of discussion, but there is one really hilarious sentence:
"Bare in mind that this game doesn’t come off as being tactical at all."
Bare? Maybe he doesn't like bears, but more likely, the hypocrite's got nudies on the mind. Oh, God.
PLAGIARISM DISCLAIMER: I may have stolen certain phrases from this guy on YouTube. I apologize. His videos are so funny and brilliant that my rhetoric is forever changed.
Hardcore
This refers to term "hardcore gamer." I'm going by the modern (wrong) connotation. Not a pretty sight.
Christian
People who feel the need to "genre-ify" their faith are stupid and probably not very faithful at all. Their products suck, anyway. See: Christian Rock.
Gamers
Shouldn't that be possessive... Gamers'? Ahh, never mind.
Association
I shudder to think there's actual organization and structure behind this. On one hand it's impressive, given the minds in question, but on the other... I'll just point out that on the tabs in my browser, it reads "Hardcore Christian Gamers Ass..."
Now we'll move on to the big stuff. I read three articles, all written by Drew Koehler, all shitty. The first was a review of the movie Legion. On top of being a bad review in general (synopsis is not analysis!), the fact that it is a Christian review kills any objective judgment that may have been. Let me clarify. Christian review and review by a Christian are impossibly different, incompatible, and non-interchangable. The former is an advertisement or brand name, the latter a triviality. I personally don't think the movie looks very good, but his opinion of it is so inappropriately defined and clouded by his faith, that I can't help but jump to the movie's defense. He doesn't seem to understand that this is a fantasy. The filmmakers obviously didn't care about properly representing any aspects of the Bible or Christianity at all, so why should you care? Quit bitching, take your Prozac, and get back in the tollbooth. The funny part is that he complains about some baby in the movie being portrain as a savior, and that the baby is not Jesus. Really? You'd think he'd have a problem with the whole "angels exterminating the human race" plot of the movie, but whatever. Not to mention his attempt to convert readers in the final paragraph. If I wanted a message, I'd check my answering machine.
The second article I read was a review of the video game Dante's Inferno. Not much worth mentioning here, it's still objectively unobjective criticism thanks to the religious slant, but Koehler never once mentions the source material, Dante's Divine Comedy. He's probably never even heard of it, which is almost hypocritical of him, but the real high point of the review is his obsessive dismissal of nudity. He claims to have played through The Godfather II video game to its entirety, and reasons he shouldn't have since the game was full of nudity, and that doesn't sit well with his perception of women... or something. Then towards the end of his Dante's Inferno review (after listing some examples of nudity in that particular game) he exclaims:
"I don’t want to see the devil’s package (yes at the end he’s naked)."
At the end. He played through the whole damn game, even after his Godfather II episode. What a tool! Do you think the game companies care whether or not you're a Christian, or are offended by nudity when you've already spent money on their product? Yeah, probably not.
The third article is below any form of discussion, but there is one really hilarious sentence:
"Bare in mind that this game doesn’t come off as being tactical at all."
Bare? Maybe he doesn't like bears, but more likely, the hypocrite's got nudies on the mind. Oh, God.
PLAGIARISM DISCLAIMER: I may have stolen certain phrases from this guy on YouTube. I apologize. His videos are so funny and brilliant that my rhetoric is forever changed.
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