Showing posts with label stupid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupid. Show all posts

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Heavy Rain demo impressions



Heavy Rain is an interactive movie thing. The game is interesting, but stupid. The controls are weird. You don't control these people so much as you "direct" them, giving indications of where and when to walk and turn, and dictating conversations by choosing different emotions. This might have worked, but filling the shoes of a film director is not properly represented. From what I can tell, the game doesn't really require the player to make tough decisions, even though it would appear so. It's disguise; disgusting deception. I replayed the demo several times, and I tried so hard to deviate from the intended course, but it was impossible. The game only allows you to make choices at very specific times, which of course is not real choice at all. There is even a sequence where a guy has an asthma attack, and you are required to sequentially input buttons to save him. I decided to let him suffer. Well, nothing happens. The animation loops over and over. The sequence is only there for the player to feel "immersed," but the player has no real consequential input. Lame. In the end I wound up trying to kill my character in whatever way possible, to unearth any trace of consequence. There was none. Good game design deigns that the player character and the goals required for progression carry a certain amount of interest to the player. A good (and ancient) way of doing this is challenge; the player cares about what happens in-game because of negative feedback. There is no discernible challenge in Heavy Rain.

So Heavy Rain pretty much fails as a game. At even a basic level it is a conflicted mess. Then how about as a movie? Not any better. The character models are horrendously animated. Metal Gear Solid 4 had millions of cutscenes, but at least the characters animated well and successfully emoted. The characters of Heavy Rain live in the deepest regions of the uncanny valley. Motions are generally stiff, facial expressions are... just plain weird, but most importantly, the eyes are dead and wooden. Eyes are so, so important in animation. They are the single most expressive part of character, and one of an animator's greatest tools of emotion. Even Disney figured this shit out decades ago, I don't know what the deal is with Heavy Rain. Really no excuse. And when judged on cinematographic levels, compared to "real" films, Heavy Rain's camera work is boring and stilted. Shots have zero compositional value; there is no intelligence behind the placement and framing. If you're going to make a game that is deeply rooted in cinematic style, you should probably know a thing or two about filmmaking, first. This is why Kojima's games actually work; the guy is a filmic obsessive. Too bad his unique style has become trend.

Obviously I haven't played the full game, so I can't give a full opinion. Maybe all of these problems work themselves out, but I doubt it. The only intention I can think the game developers had was to create an immersive experience. This is a terrible reason to make a game, because the result is cheap and manipulative. This isn't an intelligent, moral-driven adventure; it's a glorified quick time event that manipulates the player. Ironically, the best way to sum up Heavy Rain is it that pushes players' buttons; the player becomes the quick time event, with their emotions as the timed button sequences. This makes for a possibly immersive and intense experience, but in the end is insultingly shallow, a shallowness that I think will be revealed in time as the game is replayed. I admire the game for trying something new, and having read interviews with David Cage and getting to understand his game design philosophies, he seems like a noble enough guy with good intentions. He cares about games as an art form and wants to see them evolve into something special. But if this is the future of interactive media, then there will never be an art form. The entire medium will be artistically dead in a few years.

Shenmue was better at this sort of thing. At least in that game you were given an interesting world that you were encouraged to explore. Not to mention the controls made sense. And that was 10 years ago!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Bad, bad, bad criticism. So bad.

I recently came across a website. It is now in my "Places of Hate" links to the right. Hardcore Christian Gamers Association is a place run by one Drew Koehler, and the fact that he has developed a rag tag gang of ardent followers makes me fear for the intelligence of western civilization, and possibly the entire free-thinking world. Where do I begin? I guess the name is a good start.

Hardcore
This refers to term "hardcore gamer." I'm going by the modern (wrong) connotation. Not a pretty sight.

Christian
People who feel the need to "genre-ify" their faith are stupid and probably not very faithful at all. Their products suck, anyway. See: Christian Rock.

Gamers
Shouldn't that be possessive... Gamers'? Ahh, never mind.

Association
I shudder to think there's actual organization and structure behind this. On one hand it's impressive, given the minds in question, but on the other... I'll just point out that on the tabs in my browser, it reads "Hardcore Christian Gamers Ass..."


Now we'll move on to the big stuff. I read three articles, all written by Drew Koehler, all shitty. The first was a review of the movie Legion. On top of being a bad review in general (synopsis is not analysis!), the fact that it is a Christian review kills any objective judgment that may have been. Let me clarify. Christian review and review by a Christian are impossibly different, incompatible, and non-interchangable. The former is an advertisement or brand name, the latter a triviality. I personally don't think the movie looks very good, but his opinion of it is so inappropriately defined and clouded by his faith, that I can't help but jump to the movie's defense. He doesn't seem to understand that this is a fantasy. The filmmakers obviously didn't care about properly representing any aspects of the Bible or Christianity at all, so why should you care? Quit bitching, take your Prozac, and get back in the tollbooth. The funny part is that he complains about some baby in the movie being portrain as a savior, and that the baby is not Jesus. Really? You'd think he'd have a problem with the whole "angels exterminating the human race" plot of the movie, but whatever. Not to mention his attempt to convert readers in the final paragraph. If I wanted a message, I'd check my answering machine.

The second article I read was a review of the video game Dante's Inferno. Not much worth mentioning here, it's still objectively unobjective criticism thanks to the religious slant, but Koehler never once mentions the source material, Dante's Divine Comedy. He's probably never even heard of it, which is almost hypocritical of him, but the real high point of the review is his obsessive dismissal of nudity. He claims to have played through The Godfather II video game to its entirety, and reasons he shouldn't have since the game was full of nudity, and that doesn't sit well with his perception of women... or something. Then towards the end of his Dante's Inferno review (after listing some examples of nudity in that particular game) he exclaims:

"I don’t want to see the devil’s package (yes at the end he’s naked)."

At the end. He played through the whole damn game, even after his Godfather II episode. What a tool! Do you think the game companies care whether or not you're a Christian, or are offended by nudity when you've already spent money on their product? Yeah, probably not.

The third article is below any form of discussion, but there is one really hilarious sentence:

"Bare in mind that this game doesn’t come off as being tactical at all."

Bare? Maybe he doesn't like bears, but more likely, the hypocrite's got nudies on the mind. Oh, God.


PLAGIARISM DISCLAIMER: I may have stolen certain phrases from this guy on YouTube. I apologize. His videos are so funny and brilliant that my rhetoric is forever changed.