Words > Numbers

i have seen the literification of hate. and it is clicky

the evil: Metacritic is a website that chronicles all of the numbers and ratings and letters and charts and graphs that make up Internet criticism and aggregates them into a collective "metascore," one each representing an individual work. The Godfather is 100 (i searched for Citizen Kane but the site only deals with recent releases. alarmingly, The Dark Knight was a result). Brian Wilson Presents SMiLE is 97 (the highest ranked music album on the site. it actually ties with Loretta Lynn's Van Lear Rose, an album i do rather enjoy, and How The West Was Won, a Led Zeppelin live album. i guess the ordering is alphabetical). Grey's Anatomy the Video Game is 65 (seems kind of high). there are also named tiers, appropriately color-coded relative to their... awesomeness i suppose. 80 and above is green. the categories here are "Universal Acclaim" - because if there is any one universal truth, it's Metacritic - and "Generally Positive Reviews." yellow is the color of mediocrity, or "Mixed or Average Reviews." red; the color of fire, spark, passion... and "Generally Negative Reviews"

the problem: numbers aren't representative or even indicative of opinions. in my earlier post concerning Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars' port to the PSP, i touched on the destructively hyperbolic effect that Metacritic and sites like it are having on quality and its perception. what follows is a(nother) prime example of violence inherent in the system


in 2001 Michael Jackson released what would become his final studio album, Invincible. its reception was less than stellar, as is its metascore: 51. one listed review in particular caught my eye, the second selection from Village Voice (the first being Xgau himself, who notably thought highly of the album, and actually mentions the article in question). Kogan's review is a good one. titled "The Man In The Distance," its insight into the work is schizophrenic, giving an appropriately analogous account of the album's seemingly self-aware duality. Kogan never recommends, and he never condemns, and his reactions are never, ever "mixed or average." he has enough class not to slap some arbitrary digital representation of his thoughts into a conclusion

but guess who didn't

Mighty Jill Off

Anna Anthropy is an indie game designer. one of her games is Mighty Jill Off. it is a game about the often masochistic relationship between the designer and the player. check out the game and her blog, auntie pixelante

Upcoming movies

i want to see these








both films open Thanksgiving day. i think we can all agree that their posters are cool

Rant

i was on Game Trailers the other day (a site i hate) and i saw an advertisement for Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars. the purpose was to promote the game's upcoming port to the Sony PlayStation Portable

this angered me. this angered me a lot

Chinatown Wars was designed from the ground up exclusively for the Nintendo DS. the PSP has already gotten a few GTA portables; essentially little brother versions of their console counterparts; and i guess Rockstar felt it was Nintendo's turn (though i can't begin to fathom the intended audience). the game featured a return to the series' roots: top-down arcade style gameplay accompanied by cartoony graphics. logic tells us that these decisions were made because of the DS's inferior technology. fair enough. at least it's something relatively new. the DS gets its mediocre handheld edition of a popular game; let us move on


well apparently that notion can go straight to hell




i won't bother with the obvious money-grubbing corporate crap. what really, truthfully troubles me is the opening tagline:

"THE HIGHEST RATED NINTENDO DS GAME EVER NOW ON THE PSP SYSTEM"

these hyperbolic, number-obsessed buzz words are a diseased way of marketing that are becoming a diseased way of thinking, and are destroying not only criticism but consumerism. you see it on sites like IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes. the best examples though are our old nemesis, the evil IGN, and the only thing in existence that could possibly surpass that evil... Metacritic


expect a post devoted entirely to this evil soon

Apt

to live up to the blog's title im starting a series of "Good Criticism, Bad Criticism," because so many people who get paid to tell me what is good or bad are apparently either monkeys, three year-olds, or a combination of both

so here's to them

Bad Criticism

video games have it especially bad, its "critics" a generation of socially challenged nerds who find shooting things a deeply profound experience. really, people diagnosed with incommunicable disease are paid to write. have a look at Mr. Matt Casamassina's many opuses (opusii?) when youre craving some suicide

but for every million or so of these wordless, rambling descriptions (IGN calls them reviews), we get something along the lines of this:

Good Criticism

Mr. Ryan Stancl of Game Career Guide has critiqued the Katamari Damacy series, and it's a great read. his approach is noticeably blunt, but this is easily forgiven because he is quite literally trailblazing. Stancl ventures through several different schools of criticism, enlightening us to not only the brilliance of the game, but the complete idiocy of modern game journalism

the critique is in three parts: part 1, part 2, part 3


while we're on the subject, Yū Miyake is probably a genius. i say probably because i'm not quite sure what a genius is

but his music sure is great

one day i will write my own piece on Katamari Damacy, because i am finding it harder and harder to contain the exponentially increasing amounts of praise i have for this staggering work of... thing. seriously. if space aliens visited earth and i had to show them something that encapsulates our entire culture, humanity in a nutshell, if you will, i'd show them Katamari Damacy

Some albums

i have been listening to these lately. i like them

Video Game reviews

i have written several of these in the past, but there are only one or two that i can now look back on and be proud of. my writing style has changed and i probably wont post all of these, but look for some new ones and a few of the better old ones

Where the Wild Things Are review

Where the Wild Things Are (2009)
Warner Bros.
directed by Spike Jonze

There is some silliness and perhaps uselessness in adapting a nine sentence picture book into a feature-length film, but the expansion from rise and fall of temper tantrum to an observation on family dynamics and conflict is a worthwhile one. The wild things can be seen as metaphors for Max’s emotions, or his family members, or both. I like the analog to very conflicting, yet very realistic viewpoints most. “It’s hard being a family,” one of the things innocently remarks.

Where the Wild Things Are didn’t do a lot for me, as an adult. The film is best at the beginning, before Max even steps foot on the island. Here it is a genuinely moving meditation on childhood, reminding us that being a kid is pretty awkward and lonely. There is a particularly beautiful moment that captures Max as he, eyes glossy and altogether somewhere else, cascades a toy boat over his sea-blue bed spread.

I was afraid that what I loved about Spike Jonze’s previous films were Charlie Kaufman’s genius screenplays, but I can see now that the man has a talent and an eye for showing things we all understand and feel, but rarely solidify or are even aware of. In this film he has such a grasp on the mind and experience of a child, and I think this is a great one for children to see. Its themes and situations will feel dark, but that’s only because of the general schlock that is deemed worthy for up and coming generations. Compared to most kids’ films, Where the Wild Things Are is master class.

Inglourious Basterds review

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

The Weinstein Company, Universal Pictures
directed by Quentin Tarantino



Inglourious Basterds is not a war film. Nor is it historical. Inglourious Basterds is a spaghetti western. Nazi-occupied France is no more than a canvas for Tarantino to scribble his colorful stories and characters. Sometimes the results are insultingly simple doodles, but more often than not they beautifully coalesce into cathartic assaults of aesthetics from the director's encyclopedic mind of movies. History be damned.

Because of this emulation I found the film decidedly more fun than QT's previous efforts. That distinct "movieness" is more present than ever, in large part due to a literally film-oriented plot. Cinema is the McGuffin here, and there were some unsettlingly surreal moments, for me as a viewer, in which the camera paints the characters as audience members themselves.

Though too high-concept and stylized to resonate emotionally, the film left me pondering the deterrence and deception of not only war propaganda, but the figurehead-edness of modern media. During the climax when the film bravely barrages into alternate history (more so than before I mean), consider the alternative; the obvious fabrication is anything but.

Ponyo review

Gake no Ue no Ponyo
Toho (Japan), Walt Disney Pictures (USA)
directed by Hayao Miyazaki

Many have called this a "lesser" work of the master. I prefer "familiar;" Miyazaki's staples are everywhere, such as child protagonists and some light environmental messages (though his signature motif, flight, is notably absent). So Ponyo is pretty much business as usual with Studio Ghibli - business as usual with one of the most consistently creative and charming film studios in the world. Expect beautiful animation (here traditionally hand-drawn), endless expression, and a highly imaginative whimsical romp through the glowing eyes of youth.

Some will find the story simplistic and pointless, but those with an eye for nuance will see Miyazaki's gift for situation and presence on par with his masterful My Neighbor Totoro. I responded best to scenes reminiscent of my own childhood (and others of theirs I'm sure), for instance the respective feather-ruffling of parents or the excitement of exploring a new friend's home. Both were nostalgic illustrations of particular instances I had long forgotten, and am now glad to remember. Because of this focus more still will miss the sweeping epicness of say Laputa or Mononoke, however they will also miss the point. This is thoroughly a family film, its themes paternal and its conflicts relative. See it with your family. Grab some kids and join their wide-eyed ranks for 90 minutes.

District 9 review

District 9 (2009)

TriStar Pictures

directed by Neill Blomkamp

The South African apartheid allegory falls flat, especially when equating the oppressed. The “prawns” are not human after all. One could defend the director's heritage, and the film’s setting in his native Johannesburg, but I don’t buy it. The man is a white 29 year-old.

At its best the film highlights the dangers of bureaucracy and its inherent silliness. One sequence culminates with the scientific and bodily horrors of putting advanced alien bioweapons in human hands. I haven’t seen such poignant illustration of the system since Terry Gilliam’s Brazil, and found the scene deeply, affectingly relevant.

District 9 sparks the imagination thanks to its (probably) realistic depiction of an alien race and the events following their arrival, both in situation and visuals, but its exposition-free documentary style ultimately leaves the viewer with more questions than answers. Inquisitive people though, are hardly a bad thing.

Film reviews

i have written a number of film reviews this year for my theater goings. i will be posting them. ive skipped writing about a few, but may catch up so i'll have a year catalogue